We’ve now been in quarantine for over six weeks, and I’m running out of things to watch. What about Netflix, “youre telling”? Ha! I chortle in the face of Netflix. Too Hot to Handle? Done! Tiger King? Obviously. Outer Banks? Duh! You reputation it, I’ve seen it. So now that I’ve depleted every option, I’m rewatching aged movies that I used to have on repeat. Today’s film? He’s Just Not That Into You, which is one of those movies that has many interconnecting narratives and facets a plethora of -Alisters that never were on set at the same time but wanted an easy paycheck. I’m going to recap it for you now, and friends, if you thought this movie was some sexist bullsh* t in 2009, just you WAIT until you watch it in 2020.
We open on a playground situation. Baby Ginnifer Goodwin is getting bullied by a little boy, and before you ask , no, I’m not irritation to learn any of these courages’ lists, so get used to it. Anyway. Ginnifer’s mommy tells her that’s because he likes her. In voiceover, she tells us that for years, our fellow maids give us believe this lie that if somebodies are “ve been meaning to” us, it means they’re into us. She says it’s bad advice and just not true. She censures it! I’ll urge you to bookmark this part right here, because it is the idea upon which the part movie is built. If he’s mean to you, He’s Exactly Not That Into You. Remember this moment.
We’ve moved off the playground and into a rail, as one does. Ginnifer is an adult on a appointment with Kevin Connolly, who is riding high-pitched off his Entourage success. The waitress asks if they’d like another round. Ginny is keen and Kevin hesitantly agrees. What a lucky daughter! They leave the date, he caresses her on the neck, and it is obvious to anyone who knows sees that this is going nowhere.
After they part highways, he immediately calls Scarlett Johansson because he’s time tipsy enough to think maybe she’ll suck his dick. Our heroine, Ginnifer Goodwin, thinks that he is calling her to leave a message. WHAT ?! This is where I have to moment something out, friends. This movie is not about adults not owing to the fact that into us. It is actually about a very sick individual, Ginnifer, who comes up with fantastical scenarios in her pate based on little to no suggestion, and who truly needs to be committed. Or should at least be forced to sit in the region wearing a straitjacket for one hour. I will present my dispute throughout this summary, and I picture by closing affirmations you’ll all be ready to vote to imprison. This is Exhibit A.
Now we pivot to a convenience store. Scarlett Johansson triumphs a free jug and acts like it is her long-lost identical twin sister with whom she has been reunited with after many years of searching. She’s so happy to see this cooler that she cannot contain herself and demonstrates Bradley Cooper, the man in line to check out behind her, a huge hug. I think this is supposed to be a meet-cute? But should meet-cutes establish you feel this icky inside? Then they chitchat outside the Quickchek.
Bradley Cooper: I can help you with your music career