I hope you all enjoyed your three-month furlough from The Bachelor, because it’s time to scurry back to prison, where we’re all forced to watch aspiring Instagram poses who are pretending to fall in love blind us with their veneers for 2-4 hours a few weeks. The end was nice while it lasted! And now that it’s back, so is the wall-to-wall coverage. And that coverage doesn’t only include the show itself, but all the stories that are constantly being written about it( hi) and now, apparently, a song about the former make, Hannah Brown.
That’s right, country wizard Jake Owen proceeded live on Twitter on Thursday night to disclose a song he wrote announced “Alabama Hannah.” Subtle. It’s like if I included the Instagram handle of every person I shaded in these articles instead of the ritzy behavior in which I simply allude to how they’ve wronged me and then threaten to burn down their house. Now, many of you might be asking who Jake Owen is, and I guess that’s a legitimate question from you sad, unfortunate people who haven’t hitherto discovered the glamour of country music. Since I’m so sweet, I’ll help you out here. Jake Owen is a country artist “whos not” as good as Tim McGraw, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, Eric Church, or Chase Rice. Got it? So Jake affixed this video, clarifying his new song and then singing it. Take a listen now, and then let’s break it down together.
Alabama Hannah( live from the barn)
https :// t.co/ 0gSLuioEtM
— Jake Owen (@ jakeowen) January 10, 2020
That was a lot. Let’s firstly talk about his preamble. Jake says that on Monday evening his sweetheart had the brand-new season of The Bachelor on and that all he heard about was Alabama Hannah. I understand how this could compile him disturb, when there were so many other cosmetically-enhanced chests alluring damsels on screen with important things to say! He likewise reminds us that he was on Hannah’s season of The Bachelorette playing” Made For You” in “Rhode Island or somewhere.” SURE, JAKE, claim like you don’t remember where you were right before every 19 -3 4-year-old woman in America supplemented your song to their “future wedding” playlist* elevates hand in shame *. He also says he started to feel for “this Peter guy, ” because sympathy is definitely the excitement we should all be feeling for a man who has his select of 30 beautiful women throwing themselves at him.
I would also like to mention that even though we are calling this a diss track, Jake precisely mentions that he cherishes Hannah, and “theres not” represented as a diss on her word, he speculates she’s a sweetened girlfriend. A sweetened daughter who he is just trying to capitalize off of, ALRIGHT?
Now, let’s talk about the song itself. I really liked” Made For You” , but does” Alabama Hannah” seem like it was written by an emo 16 -year-old working through his feelings in his vault, waiting for his mommy to finally bring him his Totino’s pizza reels? I entail, it’s not the abomination that “Mr. Right” was, certainly, but I’m starting to think songs are best not written about Hannah?
And these texts! He’s literally just reiterate what he saw on screen! I intend, sure, I’m doing that for an article right now, but I expect more out of beings that aren’t me. Jake sings, “Well I guess you think you messed up since you construe me keep moving, picturing we could pick up right where we left off.” Well, at least we know that your psyche can process epitomes you visualize on screen, because that is exactly what happened. And, I guess that’s catchier than a song lyric than one that clarifies Hannah signed a contract that mandated she return to the show for the sake of ratings. I also think those contracts probably mandate the players cause Chris Harrison drink their blood given to that ceaseless dewy radiance of boy, but I have yet to confirm. If “youve had” seen a Bachelor contract, DM me satisfy. Jake also says things like, “Alabama Hannah aristocrat sugar get out of “peoples lives”, ” and “You had your chances, so won’t you leave me alone.” Ouch.
Jan 6, 2020 at 5:39 pm PST