When you’re in a dark place, you aren’t always able to control your feeling moves. There are times when you don’t even how you’re feeling. You can’t tell whether you want to bawl, want to scream, or want to cuddle. The only thing you’re sure about is that you want whatever this feeling is to go away. You want to feel okay again.
When you’re in a dark place, you might mistreat the people who mean the most to you. It has nothing to do with whether or not you affection them. It has to do with. They’re the ones who actually give a fuck about you, who are checking in on you, who are still speaking to you even when you’ve shut out the rest of the world. Since they’re the only ones around, they’re the only ones you are able to direct your frustration towards. You never to snap at them or slam entrances around them, but it happens. And you miss it seconds later.
When you’re in a dark place, you have a hard time putting on your happy-go-lucky persona twenty-four seven. You might be able to keep your forge smile on long enough to work or attend a party, but once you’re back at home, the concealment comes off. Unfortunately, that necessitates strangers get to see a better back of you than the person or persons in your own home. It means your energy is expended by the time you reached the sofa and the only thing you want to do is listen to music and be left alone.
When you’re in a dark place, you avoid reacting textbooks and going to go for guzzles and spamming social media. You lock yourself away. You drop away the face of the planet and make all your best friend wonder where you’ve gone. You cease to be there for them. You stop analyse them the road they deserve.
When you’re in a dark place, you accidentally hurt the person or persons you desire “the worlds largest”. You uncovered them to the worst surfaces of yourself because you feel like you can be real around them. You feel like you can trust them. You feel like they aren’t going to abandon you, just because you happen to be in a bad lieu right now.
Even though they’re the last people you would ever want to hurt, they’re the easiest to hurt. They’re likewise the most difficult to apologize to because they don’t want to hear you talk negatively about yourself. They don’t want to hear you say
They don’t want you to feel any worse about yourself than you already do — but that doesn’t mean you should take advantage of their kindness. They deserve the best side of you. They deserve exclusively good things. But when you’re in a bad plaza, it’s hard to rise to their guidelines. It’s hard to give them everything you believe they deserve.