1. Literally, because all “youre supposed to” do was bunker down and not move the fuck outside till the military presented up.
2. . I’m not small children. And knowing that something would grow more powerful the more I dread it is very likely justification some sort of reaction where I stop dreading it out of spite
3 . It’s been shown that the Purge’s main purpose is to kill political representations, as well as beings with grudges.
I’m nobody to nobody, so I’ll just run into a wooded place with lots of growth, and sleep late a undergrowth until Purge is over.
No one is looking for me, and no one is searching the lumbers unless they chase someone into them. Purge is next week? Yeah, I’m going camping.
4 . . I’d have better computer skills than whoever the central courage was and I wouldn’t act nearly as dumb about the whole situation.
5. My nightmares would rip Freddy to fucking smidgens, thanks ptsd!
6. . The cenobites, for being interdimensional torture villains, are fairly easily tricked.
They even say ” no more of your subterfuges, I will rupture your being apart .” And then they immediately get tricked again.
Also, I have a strict policy of not fucking with anything that shady men with unclean fingernails sell me. Zappy golden puzzlebox? Nope, I’ll only frisk my vidya, thanks.
7. I’m not rude, so I’m safe from Dr. Lecter and I’m the bad immensity for Buffalo Bill.
8. anything with your original zombies.
I own guns, they’re really dumb, and their max speeding is a brisk walk.
9. , I’d voluntary at the local library to read the book to a group of children, maybe stimulate some reproduces and spread it around. He’d be so busy at that point he is gonna have to re consideration his career choice.
10. , because I’m listening to my friend when they give me a warning.
11. Cause fuck going into cursed catacombs.
12. There’s literally n0 life threatening proportions in it. All the scary parties are already dead.
13. I don’t answer announces from lists I don’t know.
14 . It’s a slow-moving blob that has to touch you to absorb you. You know where I’m not? Anywhere within 100 miles of wherever this thing. In my car, and gone.
Military, do your thing. Once you drop it off to stay frozen penetrating in the Atlantic, let me know, I’m sure there’ll be brand-new activity openings when I come back home.
15. Fucking jackass decide to investigate someone quite obviously shoving a dead body into a cellar, in the middle of nowhere, without calling the police or causing anyone know where they are. AFTER that same sinister party tried his best to run them off the road. Fuuuck that.
16. Those things are six inches tall! All you need is a golf club or hockey stick, and one of those LED headlamps that last 1,000 hours.
17 . . Just don’t go back to the bitch’s house.
18. The references pee-pee me off the whole time. First of all, DON’T Separate UP. Also, TURN ON THE FUCKING LIGHTS. Then grab the shoots, camp out in the middle of the house, and wait for the killers to either leave or come for you, then blow their brains out.
19. If I were in, I’d live next to that waterfall.
20. ” We’re filming where? Looking for what? Oh ok I’m not coming back that .”
21. I can’t predicted hieroglyphics, so I’d look at the Book of the Dead, go” elegant volume !” and walk away, so the Mummy would stay asleep.
22. . Stay on tract, question solved.
“Excuse me, that room’s haunted…”
“Cool, thanks for the tip.”
I immediately aim a separate hotel.
24. . I hated gatherings when I was a teenager and when minors started get smacked off, I’d have gotten the hell out of town and stood with my Dad. He has guns!
25. . Don’t sexually onslaught women and you’re golden.
26. It’s Texas, I’d simply find person with a handgun or a artillery accumulate and limb up.
27. I don’t ever get laid.
28 . . I’m pretty sure I could outdo Michael Myers. Do I get to hear the music? That would be enhanced my survival rates 100%
29. Because I never get invited to anything.
30. ” Well those are some well prepared young noblewomen who look to be off spelunking …” as I drive on by. Blink and you miss me!
31. as long as I don’t pick up a weapon it will leave me alone.
32. I’m about staycations.
33. I’d really get myself a nice coldnes jar, and wait for all of it to blow over.