Do you have a great joke that you whip out at parties that never fails to get a laugh?
Mine is: Knock knock.
These 17 beings share theirs.
Never tell a pun to a kleptomaniac.
They’re always making acts literally. –jackhackery
People tell me I’m condescending.
That conveys I talk down to parties. –balthemel
Me:” I’ve lost my calculator .”
Them: “.. and ?”
Me:” Oh, I’ve got nothing to add .”
This only counts as” never disappoint” depending on your interpretation of never miscarried. –lake-griffy
A guy is in a doctors part. His physician is there with him.
” I have two segments of bad news ,” the doctor says.
” What are they ?”
” Well, the first segment of news is that you have cancer .”
” What’s the 2nd segment of report ?” he asks.
” Well, the 2nd portion of bad news is that you have Alzheimer’s .”
The man titters and alleges,” Well, at the least I don’t have cancer .” –Nick_the_Cuber
My dad asked me the other day:” Are you even listening to me ?”
Which is a really weird lane to start a discussion if “youre asking me”. –zimflo
To the person who stole my reproduce of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my parole. –straightouttaireland
There are 3 aged madams sitting on a park bench.
A man in a trench-coat accompany by and flashes them.
2 of the aged dames have a stroke.
The other one couldn’t contact that far. –_idontwearhats_
Why was the leper hockey recreation nullified?
There was a face off in the reces. –Runningonempty9 8
You’ve heard of Murphy’s law right? It says that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
I ever start chortling halfway through the farce though so frequently the transmission isn’t that good –ItsSam_JK
A wife calls her husband and answers” be careful driving residence, some complete moron is driving down the wrong side of the motorway .”
The husband responds” there’s not just one, there’s vicious hundreds of them !” –aMeatyTreat
What did granddads respond before he kicked the bucket?
” Wanna see how far I can knock this pail ?” –Willstroyer
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One’s really heavy and the other’s a bit lighter. –llama_laughter
So there used to be two whales at a saloon. The first whale says to the second( conclude whale sounds until everyone is a little embarrassing ). Then the second whale says back to the first( inhale crisply ),” Going to go, Frank. You’re drunk .” –Byizo
How numerous hovers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two but I have no idea how they came in there. –vadlmaster